He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
- Isaiah 40:29-31

Monday, August 18, 2008

Routine and The Mother of the Year Award

You know how I've been saying that I can't wait for fall so that we can get back into some sort of routine. I love routine. It's that type A, OCD personality that I have. I can only function properly with routine. Yeah, I can get by for a little while without it but there just comes a day were I fall apart. Today was that day.

Around noon today I get a call from Joshua's nurse up at Hopkins. She's wondering why we weren't there at 10:30 for Joshua's chemo. Yes, I was supposed to have Joshua up in Baltimore today for about 4 hours worth of chemo. I on the other hand was all scheduled to take him tomorrow. Go ahead and give me the Mother of the Year award now. Anyway, we've rescheduled for tomorrow but it has thrown me all off. It threw me so off that I couldn't remember anything else all day. Like the fact that Adam was walking around with a diaper so heavy with urine that it was to is knees. All because I hadn't changed him in hours. Or what about the fact that Noah needed his steroids (see next paragraph) and I totally forgot to give it to him until he was asleep tonight. I had to wake him up and then I spilled half of it. Yep, Mother of the Year, right here.

So about that steroid. I had to take Noah to the Nighttime pediatrics on Sunday morning becuase he woke up with a rash. He had told me all evening on Saturday that he was itchy. I couldn't find anything wrong but gave him a little benedryl and that seemed to help. On Sunday his neck was all broken out in what seems to be poison ivy. We have no idea where he got it from. Jeff still hasn't found out where he got his from three times this summer. But, Noah has poison and is now on a healthy dose of steroids. Yea us.

Adam and Joshua have had the worst time sleeping lately. They haven't been getting naps because of the whole summer time and no routine thing and they are a complete mess by bedtime. Then, they wake up about three times a night and make their way into our bed. Oh, and forget the fact that Joshua won't go to sleep in his own bed. I'm wondering where Jeff and I messed up with these boys. I had every book out there about babies, sleeping habits, great parenting. I guess they should give you a test after you read these things and apply them. I guarantee Jeff and I have failed. A big fat F! Add that to my resume for Mother of the Year.

So, it's been a day, a week, a month, oh hell I can't even say a year. It's been years. Will we ever be able to just take a day and breath easy. I keep telling myself when the boys are off with families of their own. Then of course, there will most likely be grandchildren to worry about. I have to sit back and laugh though becuase as bad as it seems some days, I think about that song by Trace Adkins, "You're gonna miss this." And yeah, I guess I will.

3 comments:

Brenda said...

Ami, I just don't know whether to laugh at you or just cry with you. Reading how chaotic it is, I laugh with tears in my eyes also sympathizing with you. Your body and mind has gotta be worn out! How else can you explain it? I know you feel guilty and like a bad mother, but you can't. You yourself are only human afterall, and you put the demands on yourself to be robotic or even a "Stepford Wife and Mom". But, we do what we gotta do, and don't be ashamed to sometimes just throw in the towel and have a bad, forgetful and crazy-acting Mother day! You deserve it honey. Besides, I'm that "routine" mom too, and believe me, by the way it seems with the rest of the people I'm seeing around me (yes, some of you are FAMILY), me and you are doing it all wrong! We need to let our kids stay up until whenever they feel like crashing, bath or no bath, don't worry about eating until you just feel like it and maybe they'll sleep until 10:00-11:00am!!!! The harder I try to keep my child "normal" and well-established, the more issues he seems to have! Yup, soccer too, I'm right there with ya on that one! Tylar seemed to have his panic attack once practice started. Just there, out of the blue. Can't explain um, just gotta love um! You're right though, we will miss this. I never thought I'd miss the step-kids at age 12 and 14 fighting and screaming at one another, but now that that's overwith and gone by years later, I really do miss that. Believe me though, not that I don't have drama enough. Every day in this family we got, there's a phone call just waiting to ring on my work or cell giving me more news of daily events. Like I said, gotta love um......Love, Brenda

Anissa Mayhew said...

Ami,

I wish there was a way to let you know that the guilt you feel, the need to get your life into the "box of normal" is universal...especially for parents like us who are dealing with the extraordinary. I can't. But it is.

However, I can make sure you know that you are not the only one who's losing her mind one burned cell at a time.

Because Monday I called to reschedule Tuesday's clinic appointment. I woke up this morning, took my kids to school and...WENT HOME WITHOUT PEYTON. I got a call at 11, appointment was at 9, asking if we were coming in. After a completely scattered conversation I quickly went to take Peyton out of school and headed off to clinic...where I arrived at 1 for an appointment that I apparently made for 3.

OK. So let's move on, people, nothing to see here. Except for a mom watching her short term memory become a thing of the past.

Beth said...

Ami,
You are amazing and not just because you find creative ways to screw up. If you never made a mistake we'd think you were Super Human and kind of do already.
You are entiteled to forget & even cry if you wanna...........we all make mistakes but with all you have going on it IS going to happen. Relax on that issue and just ebrace your humanity!!!
You STILL have My Vote for Mother of the Year so hush!
love ya
Beth Morris